Refocus your focus in your relationships!

My boyfriend is my safe haven. Anything I may need, I go to talk to him, whether it’s for comfort or support and vice versa. Truthfully he is my best friend and we come together as advocates about 90% of the time. It’s amazing that we can do just about anything together but then that 10% kicks in, a certain topic triggers some sort of irritation and all compassion, patiences, and understanding flies out the window. From advocates to adversaries in the blink of an eye. It amazes me the kind of topics that triggers these behaviors. About 98% of the time, it is over something so insignificant but somehow one of us (mainly me) always finds a way to make it extremely significant. We lose focus of being advocates in the situations we face and after the storm passes, we are left with feelings of regret, shame, and resentment. Three feelings that could very easily destroy even the best of relationships.

So what do we do now?

Over the past few months, I have learned how important it is for a relationship to have a Godly foundation and any kind of relationship for that matter. It is so easy to forget on how we are meant to treat others when we are so focused on always being right and making it all about us. We go straight into victimizing and feeling sorry for ourselves. So what do we do? We pray to God that he might help us refocus our perspective during these conflicts. That instead of focusing on being adversaries, we refocus on being advocates.

”And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds”

Hebrews 10:24

Another thing that we face is the lackof energy we put into fixing the conflicts. Sometimes we may be so angry that it just seems easier to keep on fighting or to simply withdraw. Can I say, right now in a logical state of thinking, fighting and withdrawing probably consumes more energy. But how do we tell our aggravated/irritated versions that? Like Hello brain! Don’t you understand this simple concept?! I can’t count the number of times I have decided to withdraw because I felt like I didn’t have the energy to talk it out. Or the number of times I decided to fight because I just had to be right. Taking the time to work through our conflicts or to stop the competition takes so much energy from us that we decide to take the easy way out. It is so much effort that our selfish selves don’t want to put in. We need to refocus our focus.

Refocus your focus with these tips!

Here are 6 tips that you’ve probably heard over and over again so enjoy reading them once more 🙂

1). Agree to stop fighting. Agree to take some time to calm down and pray about it. Whether it’s with a friend or your significant other, a breather may be in order.

2). Listen to each other and make sure you are REALLY listening to what the other person is saying. (I’ll admit I’m not the best at this one but I will try my hardest to get better at it)

3). Make sure you understand the other persons perspective. (Also not the best at this one but I’ll continue to try)

4). Explore solutions together. This one is so simple and yet I feel like it might get overlooked a lot. But it works! In the process of trying to find a solution, you begin to calm down and now you focus on solutions instead of your anger.

5). Pick one solution and follow through with it.

6). The most important tip of all! PRAY to God that he will help both of you deal with any conflict with grace, patience, and compassion.

“May the God of endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude toward each other, similar to Christ Jesus’ attitude. That way you can glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ together with one voice”

Romans 15:5-6



Cursing? Oh, that ol’ thing…

How quick are we to curse? Pretty quickly if you ask me. It’s as natural to us as breathing. How quick are we to not notice the words that come out of our mouths? We speak before we think, that’s a given. In today’s society, it has become the norm to speak fouly, to say profanities, and speak negatively. I’m guilty of this myself. I decided to write about this because it came to my attention of how insignificant we might view this. I mean, it’s something so small compared to all the other countless ways we could be doing wrong. But God takes into account all the BIG and SMALL things we do throughout our lives. At work, I notice how easily it is for kids to curse at each other. I hear the young girls referring to each other as “bi*****”. It’s normal for them to say “Hey bi***, how was your weekend?”. When did this ever become the norm? The worst part is, that if you don’t play along to words like that, you’re considered to be boring and a goodie-to-shoes. How sad that the norm to God is the un-norm to society. I wonder if we realize that through our words, we will be judged. I wonder if we realize that through our words, we are creating or destroying our harvest. I say ‘we’ because I’m including myself. As I write here, I am also learning. I am not preaching as if I know everything but instead just simply sharing what was placed in my path. Last night as I read Matthew 12, I came across these verses

“I tell you that people will have to answer on judgement day for every useless word they speak. By your words you will be either judged innocent or condemned as guilty”

Matthew 12:36-37

While I am referring more to cursing, I still believe that spreading rumors or negatively speaking about someone or ourselves could be considered “useless words”. We reap what we sow. The more we curse, the more we create a foul character. The more we speak negatively about others or ourselves, the more we destroy our good nature. I realize how simple of a subject this is and that there are more important things out there to focus on but something as simple as this has the power to create or destroy. It has the power to create our character or destroy our character. Will we have dignity in how we talk? Will we have dignity in how we refer to each other and acknowledge each other? Our words are a gateway to our characters. I know these behaviors have become normal to us so stopping them all together almost seems impossible. At some point throughout the day, our old habits will come out without our approval. We are quick to act and quick to speak. But I believe that if we become aware of this subject, then we will be able to stop ourselves one action and one word at a time.

“Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God in the day of visitation”

 1 Peter 2:12

Have a lovely day everyone, may you honor the one that loves you with your words!


It’s hard being a newbie Christian

In my previous post, I talked about how I grew up in a catholic home. I mentioned how difficult it was to make the transition to Christianity. Over the past few days since I started this blog, a thought has kept creeping up in my mind. “Being a newbie Christian is tough”. I began blogging with the intention of sharing my walk with Christ. I believe it is important to let others like me, know that they aren’t alone in freshly starting off their walk with Jesus. I say this because I know how terrifying it can seem when you look around at so many other Christians that have probably been in ministry for years. They seem so well put together. It’s intimidating and it can make one feel like we won’t ever know as much as them. But I’m here to tell anyone that might, or is currently experiencing these thoughts: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

So what difference could we possibly make for the growth of the Harvest?

A big concern of mine has always been on how can I make a difference. What more could I potentially add that someone more experienced hasn’t already done or said. I don’t know about you, but when that thought comes to my head, I can’t help but feel unbelievably small. I go to church, watch Joyce Meyer conferences, and read christian blogs by other devoted christians. I can’t count the number of times I have wished to have the knowledge and courage to preach the word of God as they all have. It is because of people like them, that we come across Jesus’s love. They spread the word by acting as messengers. How awesome is that? God has his own army and we can all join. We can all make a difference. We might come across ONE person, be a blessing to their day, and guess what happens next? Jesus’s love radiates from us, which then radiates onto that person you blessed, which later radiates onto the next person they bless. It is really that simple. It is an ever growing domino effect. Our body is a vessel that carries God’s spirit and our job is to be so filled with his love and grace that we glow with his goodness. 

‘Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you? Don’t you know that you have the Holy Spirit from God, and you don’t belong to yourselves? You have been bought and paid for, so honor God with your body’.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This is what I’ve learned….there are so many people out there that need to hear the word of God. It could be family members living in your own house or it could be a complete stranger living across the world from you. We don’t realize how easily we can make a difference to someones day. There might be a bunch of people out there, doing the exact same thing you would like to do right now. They are helping others in ways that you have only imagined to help but we ‘newbie christians’ don’t have to watch from the sidelines. It might be scary because who would possibly listen to us when just the other day we were sinning? But see thats the beauty about God. He forgave us and gave us the grace to overcome our old behaviors. He wants us to show others how he saved us. So yes, you might be new in your walk with Jesus but just remember that at the end of the day, it is all about growing the Harvest.

‘Then he said to his disciples, ‘The size of  the harvest is bigger than you can imagine, but there are few workers. Therefore, plead with the Lord of the harvest to send out workers for his harvest’. 

Matthew 9:37-38

Will you be his worker?

Jesus himself said that there were only a few workers. He wants us to follow him and lead by example. You might feel insignificant compared to all the other more experienced preachers but just remember that we were given the power to help others. Each one of us was placed on this earth with a calling. We are our happiest, most alive, and most like ourselves when we fully activate our calling. If in this moment or in any future moment of your life, you feel a calling to talk about the word, do it! Even us newbies can get in on the action of changing someones life. There is nothing difficult about God, we just need to spread his goodness onto others. So ask yourself “Am I ready to be his worker in this harvest?”


Put in certain situations for a reasons

God knows what he does, that’s unquestionable.

I grew up in a catholic home where my parents would probably take me to church twice a month. It wasn’t until I was 19 years old that I stepped foot in a Christian church and boy was I in for a shock. If you’ve gone to both, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I believed at that point that I still had to follow religious rules so my relationship with Jesus never fully developed. I had heard all this talk about God wanting to be my friend and have an intimate relationship with me but I thought it was all mumbo jumbo because that wasn’t what I was taught. By the time I was 21 I started dating someone that was an atheist. My family was horrified but since I didn’t have a solid foundation with God, I basically didn’t know any better. Roughly 2 years passed and my belief in God was nearly nonexistent. I never realized how strong of an influence someone could be to my life till that moment. I grew up believing that there was a God…and now I was faced with questioning everything, all because one person said I was wrong to believe. I was looked down upon and instead of staying strong to my faith, I became a coward. Needless to say that that relationship was not healthy in the slightest and I suffered a lot.

Fast forward to where I seeked God again.

I’ve heard a bunch of testimonies of where people have amazing breakthroughs and it just seems like the hand of God was placed on them in a tremendous way. For a while I was upset and felt that there was something wrong with me because that’s not how it happened for me. As I mentioned, I suffered a lot with the past relationship I was in. I got so use to arguing that it became the norm for me. If I didn’t argue with someone I felt like things weren’t right. Can I just say how terrible of a mindset that is…good Lord did I need a wake up call. I began to date a man that I knew since elementary school. Some how while he was deployed in Kuwait, we ended up talking to each other via social media. Mind you, I hadn’t seen nor spoken to him since we were in 5th grade. When God wants something or someone in your path, he will make it happen! One thing I learned…no matter how amazing a guy could be, the relationship won’t go anywhere if you, yourself don’t put your part to be as equally amazing. I would get upset for the dumbest of things and to be completely honest, sometimes I still do. But I’m working on it, I promise! I remember one night where we argued and it was my fault (boy will he be happy to hear me admit that). After we hung up the phone, I cried and cried some more. I kept asking myself what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be like any other normal 24 year old girl and get her act together? All I remember is that I began to pray. Something so simple. Something I should’ve been doing before. Something that has since then changed my life and my relationship.

The breakthrough isn’t always a miraculous show.

So that is it. That is all it took. I have since then been seeking God and his word. I’m amazed everyday by his promises and his need to just have an open relationship with me. I thank him everyday for opening up my eyes and heart to what I needed. I now get thirsty just to read his word, or listen to his music, or to simply be in his presence at one of his many houses. “The very fact you desire God is an indication he already desires you and has made a way to be reconciled”. I was genuinely in aw when I read that line from ‘Friends of sinners’ by Rich Wilkerson, Jr. The fact that I wanted to seek him, meant he was already seeking me despite the fact that for almost two years I questioned him and flat out gave up on him. I wanted to share this because if you’re anything like me, and think that the only way to come back and seek God is through some tremendous breakthrough, then I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. God blesses us in big and small ways. And sometimes, the smallest steps are what lead to you’re overall victory. I’d like to think that I was placed in all these situations so I could truly understand Gods love and what it is to truly follow him wholeheartedly. We could never appreciate all the good in our lives if we don’t understand how ‘bad’ the bad can really be.

– Brigette